There was a famous movie in Mainland China in 1950s. The movie was about the life and love of five beautiful young ladies in a small village in southern China. People called them the "five golden flowers," which was also the name of the movie. Today, under the pressure of "One Child Policy" in China, no man dares to dream of being the father of "five golden flowers." Moreover, even if a man had five girls, other people would likely consider him unlucky, for boys are still cherished much more than girls are.

Larry Qualls could be considered such a father with "bad luck" --- not only were his five children all daughters, but he also has no grandson. All his three grandchildren are granddaughters. Larry's fifth daughter, Tori, is especially worth mentioning, as Larry and his wife Tina adopted her from Canton in 1997. Tori is the little six-year-old princess of the Qualls family. She knows that she does not look like her father, but she also knows that she is the most beautiful princess in the father's heart. Tori has long black hair, which she will never cut short because she knows that her father likes it very much.

When we entered Qualls's house in Alton, IL, we first saw many pictures on the wall. In one of the pictures, Tori was dressed up in colorful traditional Chinese clothes. Tori is a lovely girl with good sense of camera. When we proposed to take pictures of her, she walked elegantly and quietly to the place we pointed, and smiled patiently until we said, "OK!"

For most Chinese people, Larry and Tina's adoption of Tori would probably be a puzzle. Why does a family that already has four daughters need a fifth? Most Chinese people would understand if they had adopted a son; however, Tori is a girl. One more girl? Tina's answer to this question was simple, "All the four daughters have grown up and left home. We love kids and we cannot bear this big house without kids." Tina is a full-time employee of Children's Hope International. In her work, she helps to take care of children with special needs. Obviously her heart is so full of love for children that she needs to have children at home to receive her care and love.

For Larry, however, the process of entering adoption was a long journey. When Tina first approached him about adopting in November of 1995, his first reaction was "what?" Tina replied "a little baby girl from China." Larry asked, "Why do we need a baby girl? The Good Lord has already blessed us with four girls!" Even when Tina went into great details about the articles she had been reading and the things that were on TV about all the children in orphanages in China, Larry's answer was still "I don't think so." In order not to disappoint Tina, Larry promised to think seriously about adoption. He started by creating a list of the pros and cons. When he finished, Larry did some self-reflection and realized that cons list was all "selfish reasons." Larry loves kids; he decided to follow the demands of his heart to accept the gift from God --- Tori.

To have a baby in your arms at age of 50 gives rise to mixed emotions. On the one hand, this presents yet another opportunity to enjoy the happiness of seeing how life grows and how great the Lord is. On the other hand, this also entails responsibility and pressure. In order to give the little princess a good education in the future, Larry was forced to give up his retirement plan. While other people at Larry's age are watching their children graduate from colleges, Larry is nursing the little baby in his arm, getting ready to again face the same financial and time pressures he experienced twenty or thirty years ago. In the Chinese cultural context, parents consider their children to be their own and expect their children to take care of them when they get old. In contrast, American parents do not raise children with thoughts of their own future rewards. In this light, Larry and Tina's adoption is a mark of their especially loving hearts.

    Even more touching was the fact that Larry went to China around Father's Day and came back with one more baby. This eighteen-month-old boy, whose Chinese name was Tu Xinchen and English name is Eli, is now Larry and Tina's little prince. Eli was raised in an orphanage in Gansu Province before he came to America. Probably because his biological parents considered his cleft lip and palate a serious problem, he was discarded in a train shortly after he was born. Eli's cleft lip was corrected, after a minor operation. He now has bright and clear eyes, an attractive smile, and very soft, light skin. By all means, Eli is a handsome baby.

    It was after careful consideration that Larry finally agreed to have one more child. In January of this year, Tina approached Larry again about adoption, but Larry's initial response was a flat "NO!" All Larry thought was, "We have five girls and three granddaughters --- our lives are full and wonderful." Changes occurred when Tina brought home a picture of Eli. Larry looked at the picture briefly and complained, "he has big ears," before setting the picture on the counter. The photo remained on the same counter for over a week. Every time Larry walked past, he glanced at the picture. Although Tori started mentioning that she "wanted to be a Big Sister," Larry still hesitated. It was only until at the end of February that Larry could not refuse the call of his own paternal love. Like Tori, Eli represented a gift from God. Larry waited very impatiently for the date of departure.

    Larry took the responsibility to take Eli back to America alone, for Tina had to stay in the state and take care of Tori. Larry flew first to Beijing. Then he took an airplane to Nanjing to meet Eli, who had been escorted there by the director and the nurse of the orphanage that had raised him. In the following ten days, Larry took care of the baby himself. He was already an experienced father. He knew how to follow those young Chinese mothers' examples in Chinese grocery stores to buy milk for Eli. He also took Eli proudly with him to restaurants and resorts. Eli enjoyed the care of Larry so much that he called him in the sweetest way in the world. When Eli saw Larry, he called him "mommy!" Little Eli's mistaking Larry for his mother openly displays the proverbial father-son attachment.

    Larry and Tina, together with Tori and Eli, now live in Alton, IL. Larry and Tina decided to move out of the exclusively white neighborhood where their original house was located after they adopted Tori. Happily Tina told us that they now had a neighbor family from China and another with an adopted Korean child. Larry and Tina's decision was very thoughtful. Tori needed to have someone like herself to identify with; otherwise, she would easily get confused about her own identity. Tori knows that she does not look like her father and her mother, but Larry and Tina want to make sure that Tori knows they love her by all means, even if she is different. For Larry and Tina, raising children implies that they not only love and take care of them, but also open themselves to interaction with children from all cultures. To raise children biculturally, they need double loving and understanding hearts.

    Toward the end of this interview, I could not help saying to Larry, "Tori and Eli might have been unlucky before, but they are really lucky now to be under the care of your love." Larry's reply was brief but touching, "We are actually the lucky ones."   

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