Life can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you expect certain things to happen, they may be more likely to. Not because you have some magic powers. Not because of voodoo. Simply because you then act in ways that makes it more likely to cause the expected results.

This happens in many different ways. For instance, much of the "power of positive thinking" movement is build upon the assumption that if you expect success, you will act in ways that are more likely to result in success. You will be more confident. You will be more positive. You will channel more of your energy into successful strategies.

Conversely, if you are pessimistic about the effectiveness of your behaviors, say in applying for a job you really want, then you will be likely to appear negative, be less forceful, and send a less attractive message to the job interviewer. Leading to a decreased likelihood of getting the job, and thereby fulfilling your prophecy.

This process can happen in the way we raise our children and how we affect their character as well.

A recent study by James Snyder and his colleagues published in the January 2005 issue of Developmental Psychology examined the role of parents' discipline styles and attributions about their kindergarten and first grade children's behaviors. What they discovered was that both were important in predicting misbehavior at home and at school.

Parents who were ineffective and irritable in their responses to misbehavior and who assumed that their children were hostile and antisocial in their motives for such behavior (parents who made hostile attributions about their children) had children who increased in misbehavior at home and school.

Interestingly, separate research shows that interventions that improve parents' discipline behavior and interventions that reduce hostile attributions, lead to improved child behavior.

Clearly, how parents discipline their children and whether they assume children are hostile and mean has a lot to do with what children do and become.

And those hostile attributions are yet another example of a self-fulfilling prophecy. When parents assume their kids are cruel and mean, they treat them in ways that makes them more cruel and mean. How ironic, when those parents are probably trying to reduce the cruelty, they are actually increasing it.

By the way, the kinds of discipline that increased misbehavior are "relies on negative affect", "uses ridicule and sarcasm", "scolds and lectures", "grabs and hits", "threatens punishment", "is erratic and inconsistent", and "is strict and oppressive." We all do some of this some of the time, but the more we do these behaviors, the worse our children act. These seven categories alone give us each an agenda for self-improvement toward shaping our children's characters.

That's the easier part of the two part formula. The more difficult part is changing the way we see our children. If we see them as negative, hostile, sneaky, dishonest, cruel, etc., then that is what they may become.

After all, what you see is what you get when it comes to raising children of character.

Dr. Marvin W. Berkowitz, a developmental psychologist with expertise in child and adolescent moral and character development, is the Sanford N. McDonnell Professor of Character Education at the University of Missouri-St. Louis. He can be reached at berkowitz@umsl.edu.