By Organization of Chinese Americans (OCA), St. Louis Chapter
For children with Chinese-heritage who were born in the States or, similarly, for children immigrated here with their parents in their early childhood, the toughest challenge during their development as adolescents is that they have to face the basic question: "Who am I? Who should look up as a good role model and who should I become?" Given their bi-lingual and bi-cultural background, such an issue rises naturally. It largely reflects the certain degree of disconcordance among self, their Chinese families environment, and American society, a complex world they live in today.
As the parent nowadays, the questions regarding identity could be very challenging to deal with. From psychological point of view, there could be serious personal consequences for teenagers if issue of identity is not satisfactorily resolved. This may be especially true for children whose parents belong to the generations that grown up in the eras when the cultural and social environment and the family setting were relatively synchronized; the values and the standards were relatively homogenized; and the paths to the future were rather simple or paved by other forces rather than "self selectable factors". Thus, such parents, who lived and trained to take those "as the way it is", do not seem to have inner struggle in defining self in a society. However, this lack of awareness and knowledge of identity issue may hinder them from effectively helping their children to go through this critical stage in life.
It has been predicted that by year of 2020, one out of four people, more or less, will experience certain period and degree of depression, a non-physical illness increasingly occurred along with the advancement of our modern life. For our Chinese-American youths, the challenges they need to face and cope with could be doubled, especially when they feel marginalized, that is, when they identify themselves with whites but cannot be accepted as such.
To develop an appropriate self-identity, to come to a peaceful term with self, and to feel comfortable with their own cultural heritage, we need first to be aware of the issue. Parents need to talk with their children about the issue of identity, whether they wish their children be like whites or they want their children to be proud of who they are. If parents do not spend time with their children discussing this issue, they are not helping their children to adjust in the American life. Thus, we encourage our parents to slow down in our daily agenda and chores, take a moment once every while to think and educate ourselves to be a better parent, who is not only a provider and protector but also competent for the multiple roles as your youngster𠏋 friend, positive role model, educator and consoler in this ever changing world. That is not an easy job.
Let𠏋 start with making the effort and spend more quality time with our children. As we know, we are all striving for settling down, developing and progressing in many aspects of livings in the US. Please keep in mind that, while we are connected with the outside world, staying truly connected with our children should always be the priority of our daily agenda. This should help our children to fostering a positive image of their parents, their family, their culture, and eventually themselves.
Editor Note:
"OCA-STL Column - a monthly column with topics that concerns ourcommunity. We'll also accept any appropriate questions or topics thatyou want us to discuss. They can be forwarded to Eling Lam atcommunications@oca-stl.org" |
