HELPING TEENS TO DEVELOP VALUES OF THEIR OWN

	For teenagers, the period of adolescence is not only a time of physical growth and development, but also one of personal maturation.  During this transition from childhood to young-adulthood, teens are beginning to get a better grasp on the values by which they will live their adult lives.  When it comes to ethics, young people tend to be influenced by a variety of outside forces.  Parents, family members, counselors, teachers, religious leaders, and coaches can all have a major impact on our young people, but they also pick up on the beliefs of their classmates and peers, which may not be of the same quality.  
Simply by virtue of the time and place in which they've grown up, a teenager's belief system is shaped by the customs of society.  Movies, television, political personalities, religious leaders, and even advertisements inundate our youth with these messages every day.  Our society's standards such as a respect for individual rights, for freedom of expression, for the rule of law, and for equal opportunity for all people can provide invaluable lessons.  However, your teens are just as likely to be affected by negative messages prevalent in the media such as violence, greed, and decadence.

	Remember that regardless of the teachings and situations in which they have been placed, that every individual will develop a set of principles completely unique from any other.  Do not expect your children's values to mirror your own or even to resemble those of your other children.  It is up to you as a parent to shape the ideals of your children but not to dictate them.

	In an effort to determine what some of his or her ideals have become, take time to ask your teens about their values.  Do they place a greater merit on the importance of people or possessions?   Do they value companionship or prefer privacy?  Are they eager to spend more time with family or away from family?  Do they like to make their own decisions or to have decisions made for them?   Do they place greater value on learning or on their own freedom of thought and expression?  How will your child's morals help them make choices in regard to their health, society, relationships, family, school, and work?

	This activity should help to determine how your teenager will behave when faced with some of the inevitable tough choices of young-adulthood.  Do not hesitate to discuss these principles with your teenagers in an effort to understand their manner of thinking and so that they can understand yours.  Remember that positive values tend to produce good choices in our youngsters, which in the end leads to positive results. 

	Larry Deutsch is the Community Education Director for Youth In Need, a non-profit organization serving the youth and families of Eastern Missouri.  Youth In Need helps over 5,000 children and families each year through over 50 residential-treatment, community, early-childhood, educational, counseling, and employment programs.  For more information on Youth In Need, please call (636) 946-0101 or visit www.youthinneed.org.