A Love Letter To God 	

Mia Liu

	Please do not ask me the exact moment when this love affair began.  I think it all happened at night.  I do know my Lord the creator of all things at His own choosing had selected a specific time to open my heart and for the first time let me feel His Divine presence in me 
                           
 	As a non-Christian just coming to scratch the surface of the biblical teachings, my thirst and desire to know more about the Divine creator and the truth embodied in the whole Christianity prompted me to take part in the Branson retreat. It was on a snowy wintry January evening, we, the young adult group from the Taiwanese Presbyterian church, hopped into cars like a caravan racing down the highway heading toward our destination- Branson.  Our zeal and zest in anticipation of further spiritual enlightenment and growth from the retreat rendered the relentless snow pounding on the windshield insignificant.  Undaunted and undeterred by the inclement weather outside, we charged on.  Inside the car, everyone seemed to be indulged in the peaceful smooth sailing looking forward toward the moment of truth - coming to know God more from the retreat.  Suddenly, this tranquility was disrupted by an unanticipated frightening jerk, sending our car into a spin.  Having made sure that everyone had miraculously survived the incident unscathed, we heightened our level of caution and alert, continued our journey and reached our destination in the wee hours after midnight.

	The relentless morning wake-up calls kept ringing in my ears, which made the desire to linger on for a few more minutes in my bed impossible.  Regardless of my longing for more sleep, I strode into the program room and sat in a chair determined to capture every word coming out of Ms. Hwang's lips.  But gradually, my visions became blurry, the clock stopped ticking; the enlightening speech became a lullaby.  My heart's desire at the moment was not the heavenly dwelling, but rather tucking myself back into bed.  Soon, I found myself slouched in my chair sleeping.   Disappointed with myself, I quickly gathered my senses and tried to piece together what went through my ears during my snoozing.   Oh, my Lord, what an unsurpassable barrier there was between you and me.  My will was strong, yet my body was weak.

	True enduring love is a mystery, which is beyond verbal expressions, incomprehensible to human minds.  How often I found myself trapped in the habit of covering myself under the disguise of beautiful, elaborate, and pretentious words. How often I found myself justifying my means to the ends.  And I had considered all this to be true and righteous.  I listened, I pondered, and eventually I found myself resting comfortably in your loving arms, Lord. Your love nourished my soul and strengthened my body.  Thru Ms. Hwang's powerful prayers, your Divine touch of my heart, and the work of the Holy Spirit, I felt your presence in me, and saw you with my own eyes. As this elated heavenly joy was running thru my whole being, I tried to keep my composure; instead I burst into tears - tears of unprecedented joy all over my face.  With your Divine mercy, you had found the secret path to my inner being, opened my heart, and removed the barrier between you and me.   
Oh, how blessed I was, for you had found the once lost sheep, and I was back in your arms.
The retreat had let us discover each other, brought us closer to each other. The sweet tenderness of fresh love touched me so deeply that I wish to linger.  I desired to reverse my previous hell-like life and grasped the reality of this moment because your love is as real as the taste of mint in the toothpaste.

	Your look assures me and let me know quickly that I am not just a passer-by on your path. I know that your truth leads me to you. I covet your Spirit that attracts me to you.
Oh Dear Lord, help me to say what I feel toward you, and make my thoughts of you complete.
I desire a perfect love.

	You need not be discovered.

	You are here.